we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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