Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
