is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
