Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
