office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
