She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
