its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
My dick has a subreddit
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
