ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
