i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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