it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
