you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
We have so much sex to catch up on
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize
