this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
