69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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