Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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