In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
