i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Welp...herpes.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
my being single is dangerous.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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