I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
