ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
