i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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