your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
