you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
