the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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