Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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