Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
