it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
