This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Operation Purity has been aborted
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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