dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Randomize
