If that was your dad, he is hot
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
babies were throwing up all over the place
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
