This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize