she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
