I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I have already put on my inside pants.
Randomize
