so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
