i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
