Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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