Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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