i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
