Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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