the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
