i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Is Oprah even human
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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