I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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