Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
