I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
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