Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
