and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Randomize
