office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
