alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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