Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
