Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
so let's talk penis.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
