how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
