That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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