If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
