he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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