She's JV to your varsity
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
