2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
