We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize