Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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