A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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