I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Send help, water and tortillas.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
