Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
