im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
