You're completely useless in the revolution.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
